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Implementing Consequences

Parents often struggle with implementing consequences when there is inappropriate behavior online. Here are some suggestions to enforcing rules. 

Adolescents who have their phone or technology privileges taken away without discussions, focus more on the consequence than understanding a parent’s behavior. Explain why you're taking their phone or screen time away.  This can help them to understanding your values, morals, and goals.  

Ask your teen to explain  their inappropriate behavior. They may not understand what they did wrong.  Have them reflect on what they did.  This makes them accountable for their behaviors, and hopefully has them avoid making the same mistake again. 

(Grusec et al., 2017; Lee et al., 2006; Padilla-Walker et al., 2011; Fosco et al., 2012; Smetana, 2017)

Connect the punishment to the behavior.  If there was inappropriate behavior online, end their behavior and limit their screen time.  Delete problem apps - make sure your child cannot reinstall them without your permission.  Take their phone away until important tasks are completed.   

Parent's Technology Use

Parents report concerns about their teen's screen use.  However, parents need to consider the impact their own technology use has on their teen.

51%

of teens report parents are sometimes distracted by cell phones when talking to them. 

(Pew Research Center, 2018)

Modeling Behavior 
Your teen is watching you.  Model behavior that you want them to imitate.  Be aware of your own social media use.  Engage in tech-free time and do not immediately respond to texts.  Show your teen the importance of disconnecting.  
Sharenting 
Sharenting is oversharing about your children online. Content shared can be embarrassing or personal for teens and they have no control over the posts.  Adolescents use social media to develop their identity and self-presentation.  What a parent shares may conflict with the image teens are creating for themselves and restrict their autonomy.  

(Blum-Ross & Livingstone, 2017)

Being Present
Be present with your children and not distracted by your own devices.  Cell phones allow people to be constantly connected, which can impact your ability to connect and spend quality time with children. 
Privacy 
Settings
Parents do not necessarily use as strict privacy settings as teens.  Parents need to remember that what is put online is easily found, therefore, the impact on an older child needs to be considered.

(Ouvrein & Verswijvel, 2019)

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